Sometimes, I wonder why Maryam choose me to move within to convey her messages to the masses, maybe my name is key.  My name is Assumpta, born on the feast of the Assumption, the fifteen of August, the day when the Mother of God is assumed mind, body, and soul into Heaven.   Maryam and I feel like one now, one mind, one body and one soul. We are so tightly intertwined; I can't see the point where one begins and the other ends. We are like a method actor who is completely immersed in their character to the point of forgetting our own identities, except where profanity kicks in, that's all me, but for the most part I am totally lost in the role of Maryam and her in me as we draw from our personal life experiences and emotions to create a harmonious existence within modern-day relevance.  We laugh a lot in this secret space in plain sight.... she finds my ideas amusing like when I suggest that she has chosen me because of my name ASSumpta.... She rode an ass to Bethlehem.  Or was it a donkey?  Either way I feel like Maryam is always on my ass or making a donkey out of me.... 

 

All my ideas are taken into consideration, some get Maryam's seal of approval for the book she promises me but if I'm totally honest this process feels more like an outlet or an online dump to free my mind.  Maryam tells me there is no waste, my ideas that don't make the cut are recycled on to the next person who is better equipped to handle it.  Such a statement makes me believe Maryam is moving within others and not just me. If anyone asks, you didn't hear that from me because such a testimonial would be grounds for another stint in the looney bin. And once was more than enough for me. I'm joking, it's really not that bad.  You surrender your freedom to the keeper of the keys, but the change of scenery is euphoric especially for the bride who deserves a well-earned rest.

 

Maryam on the other hand, her ideas, well, let's just say: No one knows the hour. And when Mary comes, she comes hard and fast, so you best be ready for her coming. 

 

What would you say are your strengths and weaknesses?

 

What? says I still half asleep. 

 

A common enough question asked in a job interview so quick give me an answer, says she impatiently. 

 

My strengths, I am a hard worker, team player, problem-solver, good communication skills, positive attitude, blah, blah, blah... the list goes on and on. 

 

Your weaknesses? 

 

My weaknesses are.... ah here, I don't know. It's not like I can say I'm tardy, lazy, a nine to fiver or clock watcher.... can I?  So, I'd probably just sidestep the question. 

 

Every moment with Mary is like a Mr. Miyagi moment. 

 

Wax on, wax off. 

 

No sidestepping, answer the question, demands she with a hint of disappointment in her tone. 

 

It's a trick question.

 

Not if you can turn a negative into a positive.

 

How do I do that? 

 

It's in the spin. 

 

In the spin! 

 

In this scenario you could say I work so hard that some people may say it is borderline obsession. An obsession is a negative but perceived by your potentially new employer as a positive as they believe you're relentless like a dog with a bone and congratulations, you got the job.

 

Maryam seriously why are we having this conversation in the middle of the night. I have a job already which by the way I need to get up for in the next, Christ, four hours. Great! And now I've to pee which means I'll probably not fall back to sleep 'til the alarm goes off. 

 

Sorry Assumpta but when an idea comes to me, well, you know the drill with this thing between us. 

 

This thing? 

 

You and me. 

 

You and me? 

 

Two in one. 

 

Maryam, you can say the word, Bipolar, it's not a dirty word, it's not like leprosy back in the day, we are not going to be ostracised out of society thanks in part to the compassion and healing hands of your son. Even though there is still a lot of stigmatism and fear attached to the disorder, maybe, I'll tell my new boss that's my weakness, I'm sure that will go down a treat. 

 

Assumpta, you're a genius.

 

Good to know.

 

Now, can I rest?

 

I think you might have given me an idea. 

 

For what? 

 

For how we are going to bait the devil. 

 

Not the devil and your feud again. 

 

This feud nonsense is wrecking my head. 

 

Spiritual warfare is not nonsense, the White House believes in it. 

 

Well then, it must be true! 

 

No, no, no... don't engage, Assumpta, just don't engage because it's way too early for politics. I'm going back to sleep and you can carry on concocting your plans and conspiracy theories to take the devil down but please do it peacefully and in silence or the men in white coats will come hall our sorry ass off to a padded cell where they'll turn the key in the lock and toss that key into the Abyss for all eternity. 

 

Devil reference, love it, I knew you were listening to me all along, says she with a smile. 

 

I'm engaging aren't I, fuck me, is there no end in sight for this feud fascination of yours.

 

Nope.

 

I'm never going to get peace until the devil is out of the picture, am I?

 

Nope.

 

Let me get a strong coffee and then you can tell me all about your bright idea.

 

I listen to Maryam's plot to infiltrate Satan and his incels of misogyny, it's elaborate with seeds of doubt as its main ingredient because humble pie is better served when it tastes of your own making or so she says.  An eye for an eye and all that, a seed of doubt trick with Eve in Eden should be avenged with a similar act to give the devil a taste of his own medicine.  I wonder who is really winning in this revenge game when I look at the time and energy lost and for WHAT? To gain the upper hand. Is the upper hand that important?   I wonder about Maryam and Me and our marriage of sorts. Who has the upper hand?  Who is the Alpha? Am I the woman or the man? Or both because it is a same sex marriage. And as I wonder on this, I wonder why I am wasting so much time wondering at four in the morning when I could be in my bed sleeping but then it hits me like a bolt of lightning, a light bulb moment that I am truly madly in love with Mary. Some may say this woman is nothing more than my alter ego, a fantasy of my own creating to escape reality.  Actually, that sounds like something my narcissistic husband would say and maybe that's it, maybe Mary is the partner I desire as she lets me escape reality and through the keyboard, I get to express the parts of me I suppress. I suppose I'm akin with the incels of misogyny as I hold a deep love for woman, for one woman, for this woman, for me. I love her even when she reprimands me, and she reprimands whenever I speak out-of-line like a mother teaching their child basic good manners. She is not happy now because I called the carpenter a narcissist, a word which she informs me has strayed far from home like a lost sheep, this word once had a positive meaning self-love and to honour thy self, it should have been the eleventh commandment or maybe I'll make it my first, says she with a smile. One must care for oneself before one can care for others. She goes on to say this once beautiful word now holds a negative connotation in today's world because the ego has taken it to a dark extreme where greed lives and breeds and remember child, you can feed hunger, but you will never feed GREED. But do we have to be poor poor? I mean if one works hard surely one should be able to treat themselves. 

 

And I have a question for you, Mary? 

 

Whatever happened to the presents? 

 

The presents? she asks. 

 

The birthday presents for your son. 

 

O, from the Wise Men. 

 

Yeah, the gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

 

She is silent. 

 

I don't know what frankincense and myrrh are, but Gold would make you and your son extraordinarily rich, care to elaborate on the whereabouts of the gold, Mary? Mary, you must admit the Gods are fast and loose with the details in their messages they convey to the man on the ground who wrote the books of the bible or maybe such details got lost in translation as man can only manage one task at a time and not curious enough to ask a question for clarification. And I say man as none of the Word of God books were authored by women. Why Mary why?  And don't give me the age old excuse of different times because Mary, you had the opportunity as the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last as God's Daughter. You were called into serve FIRST, before Jesus and again after JESUS to carry on the Christian Church after Christ's death and the bloodline of the Holy Family ends with your Assumption making you the LAST.

 

You could have written a gospel for the New Testament.

 

Why didn't YOU? 

 

You could have been a pioneer? 

 

Why didn't You? 

 

You could be the first woman. 

 

Why didn't YOU? 

 

Silence. 

 

Silence. 

 

Are you there? 

 

Mary! 

 

She is gone. 

 

She is gone, probably moving within someone else who is key to her cause to rid the world of the Devil for good. Like all relationships we hit bumps in the road on occasion and on set occasions we sleep in separate beds, one in the master and the other in the spare room.  And on those periods of separation, we shut the door on each other and the outside world to clear our heads from the noise and take some time to be quiet within ourselves to think.  During these periods of Mary's absence, I take a walk and talk with Mother Nature because she holds the answers to our problems.  She even holds the solution to her own problem of climate change if only Mary would stop sulking about the stupidest of little things and get the fuck on  picking up the pace of her movement to viral speed. 

... ✍️